I heard poet Benjamin Zephaniah on the radio the other day talking about the use of slang in youth culture, particularly Jamaican slang. He was exploring why ‘black slang’ was becoming so prominent in young people’s conversations and whether we should be worried about it. The kids’ talking on the show felt the use of slang ‘gave them a voice’, allowed them to ‘show they were keeping up’ and thought they ‘knew when to use different voices for different situations’. A well known politician spoke who was not so sure this slang was OK or appropriate, and drew out associations with knife crime, and felt that the ‘English’ language was somehow being undermined or threatened. One young black woman also said that although she knew when to use ‘proper language’ she sounded ‘white’ to her friends when she spoke ‘formally’.

I could feel my sentiments about this subject swelling and waning as I listened. Changes in language are an emotive issue. It is easy to react to different voices, to feel excluded or attacked.  One of the great human skills is to know when to use different voices for social interaction and for personal development and achievement.

In conflicts voices often clash in a raw almost chemical reaction between two warring parties. As a mediator and trainer I see it as my role to listen to and hear a range of voices and weave them together without too much deleting or diluting. I want people to retain their voices but adapt enough to one another to create a new non-blaming voice for dialogue not argument. To do this I need to tailor my own language, tone and verbal communication so that I am neither hostile nor friendly, but warmly impartial. The trick as a mediator I find is to locate within yourself a voice which is empathic without being a buddy, neutral without being cold, in control without being controlling and sensible without being patronizing.

In the words of Benjamin Zephaniah

All people are people
And as far as I can see
You’re all related to me.

Celebrity mediators / mediates

John Bon Jovi